Freedom in Commitment

A few weekends ago, I committed to running the “Psycho Wyco” Run Toto Run 10 mile option, as well as competing at the Victory Grappling Championships in both the Gi and No-Gi divisions. I also committed to the 165 lb weight class, which means I have a few pounds to drop.

Believe it or not, this produced freedom. It takes a certain mindset, but committing can produce freedom in your mind, too.

The Right Mindset

Many of us have trouble with commitment because of FOMO, or fear of missing out on something better that may come along. Even after eventually making a choice, we let our minds get consumed on how other choices could have been better.

We first must understand that there is no such thing as a perfect choice. If we dissect our choices enough, we’ll find the good and bad in each and every one. By making a choice at all, we will be giving up something else. This is simply the nature of choices. So embrace it, and then forget about that something else. Commit to your decision. Own it, as Jocko Willink would say.

The Freedom that Ensues

In my post Choose your Suffering, I talked about how all the decisions we make are essentially about how much suffering we are willing to endure. A commenter of that post, Jonathan Vieker, was reminded of the following quote.

We must all suffer from one of two pains: the pain of discipline or the pain of regret. The difference is discipline weighs ounces while regret weighs tons.
Jim Rohn

Once a commitment is made, it is much easier to choose the suffering of discipline rather than the suffering of regret. The commitment offers this freedom from having to make decisions that would lead to regret.

I am now focused on the physical training that will need to transpire between now and the 10 mile race and competition. The diet and calorie intake that will be needed in order for that training and weight goal to occur will also be on my mind.

What’s different? I have been training pretty consistently for over a year now, and have been wanting to get back down to 165 since Christmas. The commitment of the race and competition has cemented a path with fewer distractions and detours.

The gains (and in one case losses) are already being observed since the commitment was made. Try making some commitments of your own, and forget about the things you may miss out on as a consequence of your commitment. Instead, focus on the gains that will occur as a result!

Lessons Learned from a Jiu Jitsu Competition

Victory Grappling Championships was held on Sunday, December 2nd in Parkville, MO. The St. Joseph Brazilian Jiu Jitsu club hosts the event. This was my fourth competition.

In all of my competitions up until this one, I’ve won my first match.

In the Gi division, I only had one other competitor in my division. When this happens, they have a best of three matches. I lost my first match. This wasn’t what I was used to.

However, I wasn’t drained, as he trapped me in a fierce triangle in which I had to tap out.

As I stood waiting to face this same opponent again, I decided that I was not going to get trapped in the same place. I thought about the mental game. He was confident, as he just beat me. He probably didn’t know that I was making plans on beating him the next match.

The second match started similarly, but I was able to avoid his trap this time. Indeed, I eventually passed his guard for a few points. Soon, my brown belt teammate Morgan was able to sit in my corner and feed me instruction. This was more help than I can describe. Having someone there giving you something to do while you are completely drained is priceless.

Morgan provided focus, something that distracted me from my utter exhaustion. These small goals and missions kept me busy doing things that put my opponent on the defensive. Time was on my side. It eventually ran out while I was up 3-0. I forced a third match.

Between the second and third match is when I let the mental game defeat me. I could not concentrate on anything besides how completely spent of energy I was. My forearms were concrete. I could barely hold on to my water bottle.

Instead, I should have been presenting myself as not spent (which is what he was doing), and focusing on how my opponent is just as tired as I am, and I will be facing just as drained a competitor. My plan should have not changed from before.

I let the mental game beat me, and inevitably, I lost the match. It is one I should not have lost.

There was a long time before the No-Gi division would start, so I had a lot of time to recover some strength and energy.

My first roll was against someone I underestimated. I looked at him and thought immediately that I could beat the guy. As soon as the match began and we locked up, I believed it even more, as I was the stronger of the two.

I learned a valuable lesson. Never, ever, underestimate your opponents. Until time runs out or they have submitted, you roll with them as you would roll with the fiercest competitor.

He led me to believe I was controlling the match, and let me in for a take down. His guillotine was too effective for me to evade, and I had to tap out.

Now, in the third place bracket, I had to win two matches for third. My next match was against the same guy I had already rolled with three times during the Gi division. However, he gave me an edge by giving me way too much information between rounds. He told me he had never practiced No-Gi. Everything else we talked about was inconsequential, because I had made up my mind I was going to beat him in No-Gi.

Lesson learned: during small talk between rounds, never talk about your weaknesses.

To really help matters, both my teammates were finished and at match side. Again, I can’t begin to describe how helpful this was.

During the match, I got several take downs, controlled the back and got my hooks in, took mount, and racked up a total of 14 points. I observed something from the last match I had with him to this match, which was how important mentally it is to get the first points. Especially when you are drained, coming back from a deficit can be a mental mountain to climb and you find yourself defending more than being aggressive.

It seemed all the wind in his sails had vanished. The win felt good

By the third match in No-Gi, it really had started to sink in how little I knew of jiu-jitsu, and how that was the same with all of the white belts around me. We’re all out here learning and gaining more and more experience. Even with the wins, I attribute it much to my instruction on the side lines.

I’m like a remote control car with a slowly draining battery. They control me from the sidelines with each instruction they yell, but have to compromise now and again because of that low battery. Its responding, just not as fast and as quick as you’d like.

I faced a monster of a guy on my third match. Although I had him in height, his arms were as big as my legs. Keeping my head up (something Morgan kept yelling), I was able to defend his guillotine attacks, which would have crushed me quickly.

With the first take down, my confidence increased dramatically. “Get your hook in! Get your seat belt on! Look for that choke!” Every instruction provided focus and attention. What’s next? What’s next?

Surprising him with my non-dominant left, I snuck my arm in for a solid choke and a submission. Never had a bronze medal felt so good.

The six matches gave me a lot to think and mull over. I’m so appreciative of my teammates, both the ones in the gym that roll with me week to week, and the ones that were mat side, competing along side me. Without them, I am nothing.

The Tribal Element

If an outside observer happened to look into a specific building around 6:25pm on Tuesday, May 1st, this is what they would have seen.

A bunch of individuals wearing different colored Japanese pajamas, with different colored belts, were lined up in two rows. On a closer inspection, the observer may have noticed all those wearing white belts were lined up in the row against the wall, and the row in front of them had other colored belts (blue, purple, brown). Standing out front, the leader of the group was wearing a black belt.

On this particular day, the leader called one of the white belts forward, took a piece of athletic tape, and wrapped it around a small black portion of the white belt. A sentiment was shared, others clapped, and the individual returned to the line along the wall.

Then there was running in circles, some sort of interpretive dance, and then quite a lot of very intense cuddling.

So what is this observer supposed to take from this? What happened? What does this mean to these individuals?

The Tribe

Within the tribe, this ritual has very specific and special meaning. Each time a teammate gets a stripe or moves up a belt, it is a promotion. It is a sign of progress. Although the individual is singled out in this moment and recognized in front of his/her teammates, it is understood on a tribal level, that this was a collective effort.

The tribe must exist before the individual.

In my previous post, Evaluating a New Venture, I introduced a very important and key component of Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, which is a deep tribal aspect. I became interested enough that I wanted to look more into this instinct that is within us all. Indeed, this is an evolutionary trait that we all have.

In Sebastian Junger’s book Tribe: On Homecoming and Belonging, he describes the early human tribes, and the consequences and rewards of such instinctual behavior.

Junger outlines three basic human needs that keep us all from going crazy:

They need to feel competent at what they do.
They need to feel authentic in their lives.
They need to feel connected to others.

It is that third necessity that he really dives into, observing right away that “modern society has perfected the art of making people not feel necessary.”

This necessity is a root cause of PTSD in combat veterans. They go from a situation of intense interdependence within their troop, one in which they serve a crucial and necessary role, to the society just described.

It is this connectedness, camaraderie, and closeness that ignites the passion for Jiu Jitsu. This tribal feeling is powerful. It is why combat veterans feel compelled to go back. It is why some teammates have turned down great offers elsewhere in their careers or lives.

We are born with a sense of the pleasantness of friendship just as other things. In the same way as there exists in man a distaste for solitude and a craving for society, natural instinct drawing one human being to another, so too with this there is something inherent in it that stimulates us into seeking friendships.

-Seneca

Grappling With The Nerves

With Victory Grappling Championships this weekend, my second Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu tournament, there is a certain level of nervousness to which I feel many of you can all probably relate.

This often happens before a big event, whether it is an important presentation, interview, performance, or athletic competition. The nerves strike, and sometimes they strike pretty hard.

As an academic, I’ve had countless presentations that I’ve given, which include each and every lecture in my statistics and math courses. I have also competed in many races in my adult life, including several triathlons. These BJJ tournaments are new to me, and because of this newness, their is a new set of nerves to deal with.

Since a high level of nervousness can hinder your performance, it is probably a good idea to find some ways to cope.

Embrace the Nervousness

For someone to not be nervous about a big event approaching is unusual, and can actually be a sign of apathy. As soon as these new set of nerves arrived at my doorstep, I invited them in for dinner.

If you are going to be in the game of presenting, performing, and/or competing, you will need to accept the fact that you will get nervous. The best way to accept this fact, is to embrace and get to know that nervousness like an odd family member or neighbor (like Kramer on Seinfeld).

They are much easier to manage if you just let them in, and sit at the table. When you try and combat them, they begin to argue with you, mess with you in all kinds of inventive ways, and make the situation awkward and even more unsettling. You can try your best to kick them out on the street, but they sneak around the back door and end up at the dinner table anyway for a very unpleasant evening.

It is best not to fight them. Get to know them well enough that you can laugh at their ridiculous antics.

Embrace the Now

Your thoughts will inevitably shift toward the presentation/event itself. You will think about how things could go wrong. What if you fail?

If you think about all the presentations (performances/events) that you’ve given (competed in), and try and remember your frame of mind during the presentation (performance/event) itself, I bet you will arrive at a simple answer. Your mind was focused on the moment. It wasn’t wondering and worrying about the end, or the post presentation (performance/event) praise or fallout.

It was embracing the now.

That’s what your mind should also be doing as it leads up to the big event. It should focus on your preparation, the down-time, and the much needed sleep that your body desperately needs in situations like these.

Keep your mind in check. It will drift back to the future and cause worry. It takes practice in getting it back to the present.

Sometimes, when it does drift to the future, I like to fast forward it a bit more to after the event is over. Remember all those feelings you’ve had post presentation and/or post performance/competition? Whether you bombed your presentation or performance, or lost miserably in your competition, did you ever think, “hey, all those nerves were completely justified”?

Regardless of the outcome, you most likely wondered why you were so nervous in the first place?

Embrace Your Best

Since all that you can give is your best, embrace that idea. You are going to go and do your best.

If your mind drifts to the future, you can quickly think of this inevitable outcome before returning your thoughts to the now: you will have done your best. That is all that is important.

Embrace Your Insignificance

Put yourself in the other’s shoes, who will be watching your presentation/performance/event. How would you react to a failure?

You move on, and eventually, you forget it. You also wonder what did that dude have to be nervous about?

2 Hobbies, 1 Day

Saturday, April 28th will be a busy day.

Parkville Microbrew Festival

A few months ago, Erin and I committed to attending the Parkville Microbrew Festival in Parkville, MO. It takes place at English Landing Park in Parkville, with tasting going from 1-5pm this year.

The Greater Topeka Hall of Foamers will be serving 17 of the club’s beers, two of which will be mine. One is called Sgt. Gerry Boyle Irish Ale, named after a character in one of my favorite movies: The Guard. The other is called Kaw Valley Singletrack, which is an American Red Ale in the spirit of Lakefront Brewery’s Fixed Gear.

Tickets are $35 in advance (through the link I provided above) or $45 at the gate while space and supplies last.

Victory Grappling Championships

The day before my first Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu tournament in Kansas City, my coach posted an event beginning at 9:30 AM on Saturday, April 28th. It is the Victory Grappling Championships that will be at the Parkville Athletic Complex.

What are the chances? My two passions in life converge on the same small town in Missouri, separated in time just enough that I could make both happen if I want to.

Last night, I decided to do just that and registered for the tournament. It will be over a month since my first tournament, and I’m itching for some more competitive experience.

There is a little information about the event on Facebook, and a place to register here. It costs $50 for a single division or you can do both Gi and No Gi for only $10 more.

Interested in one and curious about the other? Come check either or both out!