Amor Fati

On Thursday last week, I was moving a very heavy deep freezer which had been converted into a kegerator out of my house. It slipped from my left hand, and in the split second that followed, my life has changed quite a bit.

In that split second, I lifted my left leg quickly in an attempt to catch it. A combination of the kicking motion and the freezer landing just above my left knee cap ruptured the tendon of my quadricep. As a result, I can no longer extend my lower left leg nor hold any weight on a bent leg.

Up until this moment I have been an active runner, walker, hiker, and biker. I also practiced jiu jitsu. I had just got a new Garmin watch in October and began logging many miles, challenging others in the Garmin community, and enjoying this new social way of staying fit. In jiu jitsu, I’m always learning new moves and continuously improving.

As a stoic, I am supposed to love the fate that has fallen upon me. There are things outside my control. What I can control is how I react to my circumstances. I can let it get me down and depressed, or I can look for opportunities.

How can we love the fate of the COVID-19 pandemic? It almost seems absurd that we should love something that has taken so many lives and disrupted our way of life. But is it? There is no controlling it. It exists. We have the power to complain about it, have disdain for it, and let it destroy our psyche. The path forward doesn’t look as bright using our power in this way.

We also have the power to feel something different, find the good in all that has occurred and love it. This will create a happier path forward. Amor fati.

2 thoughts on “Amor Fati

  1. Man, I’m sorry to hear about this injury. But no doubt, you’ll soon be an active runner, walker, hiker, and biker again. When I was recovering from lip surgery and couldn’t play the trumpet, I found it helpful to use the time to study other “supporting aspects” of music: theory, ear training, history, composition, etc. Maybe you could use your recovery period similarly–to lay an even stronger foundation for your future growth in these areas that are so important to you and in which you excel. You got this, bro!


    1. It seems much like what I had to do for shoulder surgery. Except this time, the quad rupture came out of nowhere.

      Except stoics are supposed to be prepared for this.

      Thank you. You’re right! I do have this!


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